My second day off all the “bad” medications! I feel like a hot pile of garbage but I’m free of at least two chemical prisons. That alone makes me feel so much better. It makes all this pain and suffering worth it. Now my body can finish detoxing and start to heal. Sure I may have to try another medication but I can proceed with tiny steps from here on out. I’m back down to base or essential medications to keep me at the basic functioning level. In the days to come I’m excited to feel my actual feelings. It’s been far too long. I’m also excited to see how my body responds. It’s a good day to feel like crap!
So yesterday morning I had made it down to my last two half doses of a medication I’ve been trying to reduce and remove from my regimen. Well I decided to not wait another week and just drop the medication. I didn’t think much about it I was too excited to call it done. Well yesterday wasn’t optimal because of my decision. I got my morning stuff done… meds, walk, blog. I then started packing boxes. By the time it came for my first dose of the “bad” medication I was feeling fairly decent. So I decided then to just stop and take it as it comes. The day sort of went down hill after that and it was to be expected. I knew that dropping both doses would hit me hard and it did. I had to shut down the printers and curl up in a chair most of the day. It wasn’t optimal but I was able to handle it well enough. After all that I’ve been through, I’ve got the hang of constantly feeling horrible. So to summarize yesterday… It was productive, then not but for good reason. The positive take away is that I’m now completely off and can start to hopefully feel better.
Yesterday I did feel about as bad or worse than I have over the past few weeks. Another positive take away was that I still got my three walks in with Dart or because of Dart I should say. He’s been a real life helper while going through this. It’s nice to have a friend keeping me company. He also get’s me up and motivates me to walk which has actually been greatly helping. After every walk I always feel very tired and fairly thrashed but normally a bit better overall. Not only that but Dart getting exercise is fantastic! We both need it but as I’ve said, he’s getting old so he needs it the most. I want to keep him as healthy as possible so he can have a good retirement. Seems silly but that’s about how I feel at this point. Like I was forced into retirement half way through my life.
I know working can be not fun. Not being able to work is a whole lot more not fun. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. The reason I’m not happy with life is because I’ve lost my purpose. I know I can find that purpose again but it will take time. I’m still trying to figure out how to function in every day life and I’m still not on a set medication regimen. So I guess the next step is to keep focused on medication and hopefully the lawyers can figure out this disability nightmare. I do truly hope I can work, be independent and go back to a somewhat normal life some day. I seemingly have plenty of life left in me. It will just take some time and income to get there… all I can do it keep fighting and keep pushing forward.
Well right now I’m feel exhausted and like a shaken up soda bottle at the same time. I’m assuming this will be how I’ll feel for the next couple days. My hope is that this all dissipates and I can manage my stress, feeling and anxiety better. Right now it’s just the beginning of a waiting game to see what will happen.
That brings us to a close, we will keep this one short and sweet. Today I have no plans. I want to get a couple boxes mailed out and that’s about it. I’m not putting any pressure on myself today. I’m just going to take it easy, let my body heal and mind rest. So with that I’ll wish you all a wonderful Monday. Thank you so much for reading along about my weird broken life. I very much appreciate and wish you all the best of health. Much love to everyone!