Life is just not very good right now… it’s not all bad but it seems that way. Family problems, financial problems, no security what so ever and things just keep going wrong one after another. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know where to turn or who to talk to, I just want to lay down curl up in a ball and cry but I can’t even do that…
I feel like absolute garbage. I feel like my meds are all messed up but they assure me it’s a transition period. I feel like I can barely function. I feel withdrawn and antisocial. I’m confused, frustrated and don’t feel much happiness. Everything is balled up inside and it’s like my body can’t or doesn’t know how to release it. Life is so difficult to navigate right now. No motivation and little energy. I feel like there’s a tornado inside me and I don’t know how to let it out. I can’t find my calm and it’s starting to drive me mad.
I’m not eating right if at all. I’m sleeping either all the time or not at all. Life is crashing down around me and I can’t seem to stop it. I’m tired… I won’t give up fighting and I won’t give up hope but I’m so very tired.
So many things in life already going wrong I can barely keep up and now I find out my previous vet who’s been supporting me greatly was sold. So now no more food for the little guy. He’s been on a vet prescribed special diet for years and I’m positive this change will not be good. He’s already older and not in the best of health. I can’t afford to care for him like I use to but I do my best. He always comes first. He’s all I have left. I can barely afford to care for myself, in some cases I can’t. Now this on top of everything else. I knew this day would come. I love my vet for all the help they gave and I understand but the timing could not be worse.
My families already dealing with a recent tragedy. My heater blower is slowly dying and I can’t find a repair person. My water cooler/heater pump is now making loud funny noises. The roof of my rv needs repaired. My dog was already not doing well. He’s been having problems. He’s been better but still not well. Now I have no idea where I’m going to get food for him or what to do about the special diet. Personally, I’m defiantly not well. Something is seriously wrong, I don’t know what and I don’t know who to turn to, nobody’s listening. No income, no security, fighting for my life and now I have to worry even more about loosing the one thing I have left that brings me joy. I’ll suffer and die before I let him go without.
I apologize if this wasn’t good or maybe it’s confusing. I know things aren’t working correctly mentally. I barely got out what I did. If you’re still around and with me you have all my love and appreciation. Thank you for being here and reading my ramblings. I can barely function at this point so it’s back to bed. Much love to everyone.