Oh my oh my… Where to start. Things have been just crazy. I feel like life is really beating me up, then giving me a carrot and then beating me some more. Insanity, frustration and sadness at it’s finest. This should be a decently entertaining one?…
Let’s start with meds. Yep those are all f-d up. So to recap. I met with the medication specialist lord knows how long ago now. Time has been a bit of a blur. He put me on a new pill. Pill bad. Did not work with me. So after about 2 weeks of torture or that’s my guess I was off that medication. So then I had some down time. Felt like crap for days after coming off those meds and then the normal stress and anxiety set back in. So I was back to my normal hellscape. Cool. Next I had a few rollercoaster days one good a couple bad random problems. Met with all my doctors and now I’m starting another new medication as of yesterday. Oh I can’t wait to see where this one takes me. They did learn a lesson and we’re starting lower dosage on try two. I will say this… I’ve had an upset stomach since and have been pooing far too much. Let’s hope it’s not the meds, but I bet it’s the meds. I wanna laugh and cry and the same time. I’ll give it a few days. I drank enough pink stuff today to count as a replacement meal and I’m still not feeling well. Again, I’ll give it a chance. Ok… NEXT!
So life… well things have been fairly stressful. First my dog got sick. Then my fridge died. In between this all I started to feel horrible because of the meds. Then my heater started making noises. I suspect the bearings but haven’t had the energy to even open it up but once to ensure everything at least looked correct. Medication problems as noted above. My vet who’s been supporting me and letting me slide on my bills just got sold so I don’t know here that leaves me. I still have no income and it doesn’t look like disability is going to be moving very fast. I’m also unable to get things done at an acceptable speed partly due to my health, partly due to life problems. So continually falling behind and no where to turn for assistance. Uggg.
Poor Dart (my dog) has been feeling not well for a few weeks now. Plethora a problems that I’ve been trying to get worked out. Again and always challenges. Firstly getting him to the vet. It’s a 40 to 50 min drive one way. Next I worry about racking up a high bill. Now I’m worried they won’t be helping me at all since it’s under new ownership. I don’t want to get 100% negative. The new owner my have discussed or take sympathy on my situation. Seeing how long I’ve been with them they may help. On a positive note, thanks to a private donation my bill for food has been taken care of for the second time. So not all bad things not all good things. Plus things yet to be known. Dart seems to be doing better so that’s also great! He is getting old so I do need to prepare myself. I’m just not ready, but are we ever?
Let’s tackle this fridge. It died. I beat on it for many days figuratively and literally. The church in sisters again came to my aid. Not only has my friend Wes been a savior is many ways, the church has also really stepped up to help me. It means so much, I’ve gone through so much, at this point I no longer have words. I’m just blessed and amazed I’m still surviving. I must have done something right in life because in my biggest times of need I’ve been given a path. I’ve been extremely lucky to have had a rope to grab on to every time I’m just about to drown and unfortunately some people can’t say that. My heart hurts for those that can’t get help. So yes the church has donated enough to get a new fridge and all the materials for installation. We’re swapping it out with standard fridge since this really isn’t an “RV” any longer… Better cooling and more power efficient. Also way cheaper replacement cost… So no worries there my friends, huge huge thank you to VAST church in Sisters Oregon it all worked out.
Heater… oh my this darn heater. First the control board went out. Scott was kind enough to donate a new control board and got my running again. Now it’s making some noises that I won’t try to explain, but from experience sound like bearings going out. It’s possible with the assistance of an old friend I can get the blower pulled out, possibly lubed and it will be fine for awhile longer. Eventually it’s going to need replaced. What exact parts I don’t know. I’ll hope it stays running until after I get this fridge thing tackled. I don’t have the energy or strength to mess with it myself at this point. It’s better to just tackle one thing at a time and since it’s still working, knock on wood, hopefully it can wait a couple weeks. So more updates to come.
I’ve got a plethora of other small problems but I’ll eventually figure them out, or I won’t. I just kind of go with the flow these days and do my best. One thing that’s been haunting me is my inability to eat well. Not having a fridge or the ability to cook much in the RV hasn’t helped one bit. Even if they were both available I’d still have problems. Motivation, energy and know how. I’m a horrible cook. I have found some very healthy, fully organic, gmo something, gluten free, etc etc etc. Basically low like 4 ingredient or all natural ingredient foods that contain fiber, protein and vitamins. They seem to go down well and not give my stomach too many problems. Some foods are fine, most make me feel ill. Boost shakes are still my best friend and will continually be on my Amazon list. Even with no fridge I’m drinking them warm. What ever it takes to survive. Never say die! I’ll get this figured out too. My guess it’s a combination of the medications, stress, my disease and possibly some other medical issue(s). That’s all yet to be seen. More tests to come I’m sure.
Other then that lots of calls with the lawyers. I have to update them every doctors appointment. Every letter I get. Every little thing. I get it and I’m ok with that. They are working for my benefit so the more I help them the better. It can be very time consuming. Not to mention the government likes to send the same document in 20 forums over the course of two weeks for you to sign and send back. That’s not frustrating all all. Seriously our disability system has major major problems. That’s got to be obvious to you all by now.
So my goals are to get these life problems out of the way. Start printing more again. Get caught up on painting. As for everything else it’s just a hurry up and wait game so that’s what I’ll do I guess. This has been a long one and my hands are killing me so time to watch some tv, let the hands rest and then back to one of the tasks on my very long list!
Until the next installment. Again I’ll try to get more of these out but with meds and life it’s hard to say when I’ll have the ability. I know you think it’s easy to sit down and bang out a blog post but for me it’s more complicated then that. It can be very difficult, sometimes not. Lots of factors. Anyway, enough about me. I hope YOU have a fantastic weekend! Thank you as always for continuing to join my on my journey. You are very appreciated and much much love to you all!