First off, I’ll start with an apology. I think it’s been 5 days since my last post. So there is no good excuse but I have a few… but good thing at the end!
The main issue is I’ve been feeling a little lost and depressed. The holidays always do this to me. I miss my sweet beautiful mom. It still makes my chest hurt and tight every time I think of her. I miss her so darn bad. I always tried to be a good son, I just hope I was. I also miss the rest of my family. They’re always there to talk when I call, but I’m to fragile and to far to be with them. It makes me feel horrible because there were so many years that I did have the means and could have made the time… but for some reason or another I didn’t. Most of the time is was for work but in my book looking back, all just bad excuses. Feel blessed if you get to spend time with or even just the holiday with your family. I hope to one day soon.
Another issue is my meds are all jacked up. I feel like I’m dying. Honestly can’t wait to see the medication specialist. I’ve been having the worst time. I have some assumptions of what it could be going on but I don’t know for sure. I’ve been making micro adjustments to my meds trying to find the right mix. I guess we just continue on course until the 23rd when I get to see the man every doctor says will solve my problems. I’m excited and terrified. This could go really good or really bad (I’m actually laughing right now, possibly in fear, lol)
Lastly I’ve been trying to push through and get these commissions done but my hands have been total crud. They are rigid, hurt and everything is a forced movement. There’s finally starting to warm up this morning and work decent. I might be able to finally get some paint work done. Anyway, the hands and body have been giving me heck so I’m stress’n to get this art out. I’ll get there soon I think. Just gotta use my time more wisely when my hands do start working.
Adventures in 3d printing! Yep were back! The new printer has of course been giving me heck. I might have to get it replaced again. I don’t think the screen was installed level. If I totally level the printer and then put a small cylinder of water on the screen there every so slightly an angle to the water. I think the screen is off by a mm or two but that’s causing weird issues. Might have to go back for a third try. Lucky for me I have TWO more on the way! That’s right TWO more. Big ball’n you say?!? NO… I’ve honestly been blessed to have reconnected with an old friend. He sits on the board at his church and they decided after hearing my story they wanted to help me expand. I honestly just gave a little presentation if you will as to what my business plan of sort was and they deemed me worthy. So I’ll have three printers running at the same time now. What will this do. It will cut down on my production time and I won’t be up twice a nice pulling prints off the bed, just to start another. Yes I print almost 24/7 when I can. I have two paying gigs I’m trying to get going. It won’t be a lot of income at first, enough to keep the printers going. It’s a start to something bigger in my eyes. Plus it keeps me busy and a busy Ken is a happy Ken. I also need to print to paint and prototype. So having three will allow me to do all of that in a reasonable amount of time and keep a normal schedule.
Speaking of my friend Wes who started this ball rolling for the new printers. I’ll be forever grateful that we randomly reconnected. Not only has he been wonderful to visit with. He gave me a small graphic job through his company and paid me a bit for it. Even though I told him not to. He also dropped off a huge box of gifts from him and his family. They are beautifully wrapped with bows, name tags and candy canes on each one. It was the kindest gesture. It doesn’t stop there… two folks from the church yesterday talking with Wes about me. Decided to give him an addition $300 randomly out of their pockets for me. I’m so speechless at what kindness all these wonderful people that I don’t even know can just give. It shows you there’s still hope in the world. The funny part is the circumstances for Wes and I to reconnect were strange. He randomly received a package meant for me in an odd round about way and it all started with him just returning it.
SO I could finish up by talking about how odd and bad the last weeks been but instead I’ll tell you about my yesterday. Wes, his son and the pastor from the church stopped by for a visit. It was special to me. Without going into detail I did a little thing that helped Wes’s son many years ago so finally getting to meet him was so fantastic! He’s doing great now and I’m so happy for him. I really enjoyed speaking with the pastor. We had a lot of good conversation and he showed great interest in my art. It was a wonderful day full of gifts, surprises and lots of tears.
Well, I’ve been feeling a bit better and today I feel the best I have in the longest time. So maybe the last micro change to my medication was a step in the right direction. It seems only time can tell. I am going to capitalize on this time to get a project finished that’s very close. So for now I think we’ll call it good. I’ve got a lot more to talk about but in time. I’m learning I can’t do it all at once anymore. It’s like baby steps or flat on my face.
Until next time. May your holidays be blessed. Make sure to be kind to your fellow human, things are rough enough. Don’t let negativity perpetuate negativity. Be better and do more! I so very much appreciate you all and much love my friends!