Ok, I think we skipped yesterday. It was a bit of a blur. The last week as been. Somethings been wrong. I thought it was my meds but after taking twice my normal anxiety/stress/etc medication one day… everything calmed a bit that day. So I’m assuming the stress of all these things is finally breaking me a bit. I knew it wasn’t good but now it’s making my life a literal living hell. I’ve had very few moments of creative clarity where I could actually work on things. When I do have clear enough times to function it seems like I never get time to create because I’m always chasing down problems. Phone calls to lawyers, doctors, and about 20 other people right now just trying to get things arranged for winter / life. Like… heat, food, warm clothing, back up solutions if my heat dies or travel trailer freezes, fridge is dying as is the A/C so need to get those fixed, think my thermostat is broken but I’m still testing. So many worries going into winter, living in a travel trailer with no real working plumbing and being disabled really kind of SUCKS! Having to go into the main house can be dangerous at times for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful for what I have, it’s just starting to not be enough. Now even my time isn’t enough. Up and down all day, taking frequent naps, feeling confused and foggy, unable to even function at times, massive amounts of pain… but I keep smiling pretending there’s nothing wrong and keep moving forward feeling like I just want to not be here. Sometimes it all get’s so bad physically and mentally I don’t know if I’ll have the resolve to keep this up much longer. I’m trying hard not to give up but every direction I look is a long list of thing to do, most importantly finding an income. I know for a fact once that’s figured out everything else will fall into place. At this moment I’m not feeling real positive about the entire situation.
Over the last few days, just been doing what I can. Working on the Skadballs to get them sent out to the 5 lucky buyers. I do have a few extra that I’ll be customizing and auctioning off. I’m actually making great progress and they should all be sent by next week. A friend Nate that owns Squid Kids Ink… go check em out! Sent me a lovely box of stuff I can customize and sell. So I’m currently trying to figure out how I want to tackle this adventure! Other then that just working on a few different things.
So I got offered a 3D printer for free. It came, what was in the box was a used ball of hot mess. The company apologized a million times and is sending me a free gift? I have no idea. I would have settled for another free printer. So anyway, we take it out of the box and the adventure begins. First we start cleaning up the sticky mess. The previous “owner” obviously was a printing novice and didn’t know how to follow directions. The damn door wouldn’t open. We finally figured out that the door was welded shut somehow at the bottom seam. Either resin wet/cured or something. So we did what any normal person would do yanked until we knew it wasn’t budging and then proceeded to heat up a this metal scrapper on the heating stove. We ran that thing down the seam over and over again. Didn’t think it was going to work and bam! it opened. I think I would have rather left it shut. So then because the very long process to get the printer restored and possibly printing. It took hours and there were so many challenges to overcome but we got it clean up and sanded down best we could. The windows and casing although covered in crap, the inside was ok enough. The build plate leveling screw was mostly stripped. The build plate marred up fairly bad. The motor and z-rail actually seemed to work fine. The front LCD is fucked up lmao. You have to press in weird spots to get the buttons to work. It’s kind of a bitch. Anyway, everything powered on and looked like it might work. So I setup a 5 min shitty file because I wasn’t spending time unless needed, who knew it if would even print. We filled the vat with liquid resin and I started off the print. Five hours later we had a purty dang decent print! So like fucking wow. We actually rebuilt a basically destroyed printer and got it working with no new parts. PROUD! When I get an actual good one things are gonna be going down! I’m now slowly learning the slicing programs to setup prints. We have some resin left and I spent some time last night and this morning setting up a better file. We shall see what we can do after coffee and the fire get’s started in the shop.
Life… so it’s either my Amazon list can’t be seen randomly or it empties itself or some folks are buying things off the list faster than I can put them on there. I try not to put everything on there. I try to put a little at a time and mark it clearly in terms of priority. So if you are one of the folks donating through Amazon, much love! Other then that life is kind of at a stand still. Waiting on docs, lawyers and other. Scrambling to make any kind of income. Pushing myself way too hard because I have to or things won’t get done. At that my hands hurt and I’ll have more to post later or tomorrow. I’ll even try including a pic in the next blog of the 3D prints we’re going to try again today!
Sorry a little lackluster today but because I haven’t been doing well physically and mentally there’s not as much to tell. Plus I don’t want to vent because I don’t want that negativity to consume me. Onward and upward!
Well as always stay safe, know that I truly love each and every one of you, each of you is extremely special and this world is lucky to have you. Until next time my friends. I’ll keep pushing forward!