THE BIG THREE ZERO! We’ve made it to 30 posts! I can’t wait for that 100 mark so I can read back! Yes this is for me as much as it is for you.
So this is gonna start crazy and end calm.
First and foremost. Thank you to all who have supported me financially. That has been amazing. Second and JUST AS IMPORTANT, thank you thank you thank you to all those that supported me through Amazon!!! That small list went away quick. I have thrown some other items on the list. Some are for living (survival), some are for creating. PLEASE DO NOT feel the need to purchase anything marked for creating unless you truly want to. Those are set at the lowest priority and marked very clearly as not to be confused with my life survival needs. Another huge thank you goes out to all those who have reached out to send care packages, be there for me over video chat, verbally over the phone and even just over text chat. I appreciate the help, support, knowledge, experiences, stories, opinions and more! I truly appreciate it all and mostly ALL OF YOU! and… sorry when I do go off the rails. I’m working on managing my expectation and situations better.
Medically I’m doing ok. I’m exercising the best I can. Doing breathing exercises and meditating. Drinking A LOT of Boost shakes / water. Those are a life saver as I often don’t feel hungry. Things are going down easier at times. I’ll be adding more Boost shakes to the Amazon list for sure! I found a new source for THC/CBD concentrates to help manage my pain, help increase my hunger and keeps me fairly level mentally. THAT IS A HUGE WIN!!! Thank you my friends for all the help in locating a new source if you’re reading this. My pain has been at an all time high. 7 out of 10 mostly but I’m managing it fairly well down to a 4/5. The tremors both visible and the explosive feelings are a bit worse than normal. My rigidity get’s better and worse at times. My body is adjusting to med changes, the weather getting cold and all this new exercise from my in home care. So things are good! and things are bad… but overall getting better, or as much better as they can!?! Yep I said as much better as they can… deal with it. Next another med change… oh my. I’m sure more tests and hopefully some wins (improvement).
Disability is with the lawyers. Appeal is filed. Paperwork being done. Sort of just holding. Which always messes with my head and scares me because time costs money of which I don’t have that security. So scary AF…
Well we can start with Friday after the early blog… So right after coffee I had my social worker come by, then my nurse stopped in and then my physical therapist came. Yep, I had totally forgot to write down all the appointments. It was crazy but very awesome. I’m sad because my time with them is coming to an end. I’ll still have contact with them if needed but they’ve gotten me to a point where I need to start helping myself. They have folks who need them much worse. I’ll miss having someone stop by the most. They’ve all become friends and I’ve lost so many friends because of Parkinson’s, it kinda sorta in a semi related way feels like I’m loosing friends again. It will be find though. I’ve got their numbers, my exercises, good info and I’m a bit better that I had them for the few weeks I did. I’m working on getting further help in the mental health area to assist me dealing with all these life changes, stresses and such. Things have gotten to a point where further assistance in that area is needed to keep me on the positive path. There’s a few concerns I have medically. I can’t wait for my GP to be back from vacation. I don’t like the PA much… but anyway back on track. The rest of the day I was testing stuff, unsuccessfully, on the Cameo (machine used to create). It’s frustrating and challenging but I’ll figure it out. After a bit of that I felt like death and knew it was time for bed. I don’t remember much from last night.
Today! well it was a day. I woke up and had a fantastic morning. Lots of positivity and support. I found when things go good, it helps me move forward. When I hit even a small roadblock if feels like the world just stepped on me. I know that’s because of my current situation. I’m working on making that less of a dramatic jump from one extreme to the other. I am making progress. Anyway, I woke up, did the morning exercises, coffee, doggy, etc. Then decided to take the day for me and just relax, or try to. I had a wonderful entire morning of gaming and conversation from my friend UB. It was fantastic spending time playing and especially chatting with him today! Then mid day it hit… for some reason my mind crashed, I couldn’t think right and then went my energy, shortly after my body started to crash. I made it from my desk chair to my recliner and I was gone for several hours. That was one of the scary moments. I don’t know why they happen but they do… and this is why I cannot currently be alone in pubic or leave the property alone. It sucks… that brings us to now. I have some soup sitting over there and I’m not hungry but going to try and eat. I assume I’ll eventually get sort of hungry like I do every night a bit later after medicating myself to that point. Yes if you haven’t already realized from above or previous posts. I smoke marijuana concentrates (not flower because it’s harder on my lungs I’ve found) and it actually helps in three ways, eliminating the need for destructive medications. Yes some medications help short term but destroy your body and mind in the long term. Not to mention addiction. The THC makes me happy and hungry. The CBD makes me hurt less, helps the rigidity and easing the pain also helps my hunger. It’s NOT a medication for everyone, but it works well for me. It’s also 100% legal here in every way. If you ever wanna come visit please feel free 😉 lol
On that note… yep last time I checked people are still bat shit crazy. Be safe out there. Remember, YOU are APPRICIATED my friends! Much love to you all!