Not so good entry.
This is going to be a bad one… what seemed like a good day quickly went bad. OT rescheduled which was ok because by that time I felt absolutely horrible. My body started to crash before I even got the started day but I pushed though. I got 3 small tasks done and then the pain was out of control at this point it’s an 8 out of 10. Yes pain is a significant symptom of Parkinson’s disease. Tremors were also acting up. My meds in general aren’t working as well because of all this added stress. Then come to find out I’m loosing my source for pain relief… and have no way to find another. So at this point I’ll have to switch from marijuana to pain pills which is something I can’t bring myself to do…
On top of that I’ve been foggy, unable to think clearly, tired and have horrible insomnia, depressed, anxious and just have this feeling of doom creeping over me. I’m horribly scared. With all that’s going on, I’m getting confused more often. Trying to prep for winter is literally killing my body. I’m so sick with worry I literally can’t even eat anymore. I just don’t know.
Now that I’ve lost my only connection to get bulk concentrate to help with the pain and my inability to feel hungry… I’m even more scared and now in a panic. I don’t know how the next few days will go. I assume with how I’m feeling at this point there won’t be any entries for a day or maybe a weekendoff the internet. It’s just hard hit after hard hit. Figure one thing out everything else get’s fucked up.
There are a lot of things moving in a positive direction. But just not fast enough… it’s a horrible thing to live in fear on top of fear.
I’m good just as I said this was a bad one. If i gotta deal with it you’re gonna probably hear about it…
With that much love, be safe
#parkinsonsdisease